No matter what age you are if you find it difficult to make people like you or to build new friendships – this blog is meant for you! To build good relationships and interpersonal skills, one needs to know how to make or win friends personally or in professional lives. It is a myth that people will like you more because you are an extrovert. There are a lot of extroverts as well as introverts who struggle to make people like them. I am sure you agree!
Growing up, you were taught to be kind, loving and a courteous human being. But there are tiny and discreet social skills that can take you a long way to get people to like you. Therefore, this article lists a few tips and techniques on ways to make people like you so that you can influence others.
Always remember, when you address someone by their first name it makes the others like you – since they feel important, recognized and acknowledged. It might seem difficult to remember the name instantly. You could end up using the excuse: “I am sorry, I am not good with names”. Make sure, when you talk to others for a considerable time- address them by their name at least 3 times in your conversation. This will help you to remember their name for good.
“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie
For example, when you are at a café or restaurant, the server usually introduces themselves before taking your order. Thank him/her using their name during your entire time at the restaurant or café. Engage in a conversation with them asking – “How is your day going?” This certainly will make their day! Furthermore, they will remember you when you come to visit the next time.
This is another way to make people like you and remember you for a long time.
A beautiful gesture that doesn’t cost a dime but only spreads happiness is SMILE. It enables to brighten someone’s day, uplift their mood and make you more approachable. Smiling at people is contagious whether it’s a goofy smile or an ear to ear wide smile, it instantly makes the other person smile.
So, every time you meet and greet someone, always have your best smile on. This gives them a perception of how friendly a person you are. However, do not fake a smile because everyone can detect one. (it’s quite obvious!)
Smiling might seem a bit cheesy, however, it is the best and easiest way to make people like you. Did you know, that every time you smile it releases a small dose of endorphin (the happy hormone) in your brain imbibing a sense of joy and happiness? Moreover, imagine the effect it has on the other person you are smiling at. As a result, you will always be remembered as the person who brought a smile to their faces. There you go – you just won yourself a few friends!
“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
– Mother Teresa
Thus, exchange smiles at strangers on your way to work or while walking down the street, at your house-help or your apartment’s watch-guard. You never know who’s having a bad day and how your smile can change that for them. Also, you never know you could end up making a new friend too.
Listening and hearing are two different things. When you listen to someone talk, you are mindfully present in that moment and pay attention to what the other person is saying. This aspect or quality in you will instantly make people like you and help you win friends. Because honestly, it is rare to find a good listener.
Listening to someone emoting what they are saying is a sign of showing empathy. Sometimes a person only wants you to listen to them to make themselves feel wanted and heard. Instead of concentrating on your phone while out for dinner with your family friends, keep it aside and listen and talk with everyone around you. Thus, it automatically helps you influence people as well.
You can show someone that you are listening mindfully through your –
Tilt your head towards the individual you are talking to. This does not signal a threat that you are asking for a fight, instead, it shows that you have a keen interest in their conversation. However, do not just do it for the sake of impressing. Others will soon see through your farce.
Eye Contact is a simple way to show that all your attention is on the speaker who you are interacting with. Too little eye contact calls off as being rude or being distracted. Too much eye contact makes the other person uncomfortable. Hence, keep neutral eye contact and blink and look away for a few seconds in between. Watch people you idolise – notice their body language and you will understand what I am saying.
Verbal Communication is also referred to as Active Listening. This shows that you are actively listening and repeating parts of the conversation to what the other person has said to you. Therefore, it will build a sense of assurance in the other person and help you to make people like you and win friends.
Tony – “Hey, I recently conducted a laughter therapy workshop.”
Jane – “That sounds fun, how was the workshop.”
Tony – “It was great. We learned how laughing releases happy hormones in our brain that reduces stress.”
Jane – “It reduces stress? That is a very interesting fact. It must have been very satisfying. Tell me more about it.”
Tony – “It surely was.”
Thus, it makes the other individual feel that you are really interested in their stories and will make them like you and create new friendships.
This might sound a bit odd but it will always work in your favour. It is a known technique called the “Benjamin Franklin Effect.” So, basically all you have to do is ask for a favour and when the other person does it for you thank them and they end up liking you. Sounds simple? But how does it really work to win friends?
So, if an individual performs a favour for you whom he/she initially had neutral or negative feelings for, he/she will begin to like you as a means of justifying the performed favour. Their mind juggles between their actions and feelings towards you who they are helping.
For instance, this effect could cause someone who disliked you, in the beginning, to start liking you after they do a small favour for you. Such as, helping you with a chore or an assignment or lending you a book.
Thus, ask for favours without hesitation and this could make people like you resulting in winning friends. However, do not ask too many favours, you might be perceived to be a little annoying.
Also, you never know that asking for help could result in helping someone out in return. Because – by letting someone else help you gives them the joy of giving to you. It could be a small gesture of lending a $10 note or giving you a lift back home. Remember – acts of kindness makes people feel elated no matter how small the gesture maybe.
Being positive is an important trait to have to make people like you and win friends. Moreover, spreading positivity and happiness can easily attract a lot of people to like you. Well, who would want to be around someone who is negative all the time and create a gloomy environment?
A positive attitude towards everything in life takes you a long way. It attracts positive thoughts, emotions, and energy. This furthermore attracts people to be around you and make new friends as positivity enhances growth in mind and well-being.
Thus, aim to be happy in life, use laughter as a tool to make people like you. It could be through cracking jokes, uplifting a tensed atmosphere or just creating positive energy in a room with happy talks.
“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.” – Wade Boggs
Dale Carnegie, the author of the best-selling book – How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches even the most successful entrepreneur, Warren Buffet on how to make friends and influence people. His lessons are taught through his classic principles and fundamentals of social intelligence and how good social skills can win you friends and make people like you.
Hope the above blog answers the most Frequently Asked Questions on How to make people like you and how to win friends as listed below. In case you have any unanswered questions please feel free to leave the questions in the comment box below. We shall clarify by replying to you.
To make people like you and win friends, it is really the smallest gesture that counts. Be it by giving them a compliment, recognizing them for their special skills, spending one on one time with them, wishing them on their birthdays and anniversaries or mindfully listening to them. So, the key is to do it with sincerity, love, and fondness towards the other person you want to befriend.
However, the motive needs to win friends and influence people has to be pure and it is about giving and not expecting in return. Always remember to keep it natural and not fake it because others can detect it when they know you are in it for yourself only. So, look for the good in everyone you meet and spread love and happiness to influence people.
The world needs it right now! Peace to all!