I will at the beginning admit that I have grown up while raising my daughter, parenting has taught me a lot, but today I believe that my daughter has learnt a lot for me, from love and from example. So here are the 5 do’s of good parenting as I see them.
Love them and TELL them
You may not be able to give your children much, you may not be able to fetch the stars for them, but what you can do is, give them love your undivided attention and a listening ear. Tell them, I mean TELL them you love them and that they are more important to you than a meeting or the golf game or the night out with friends. Many a time we do not express ourselves when it comes to our children. Ask them what is important; tell them what is important to you. If it is a difficult time you are going through tell them about it, share your life with them, it makes them feel loved, secure and gives them a sense of belonging,a huge positve for good parenting . Do this today, call your child’s name out loud and tell him or her that you love him/ her.
Children do as they see
If there is one thing you can leave your child as a legacy, it is setting an example. I have not taught my daughter in the way I see people drill principle and practice into their kids, instead, have shown the way by example and now slowly and surely I see her follow, constructing a set of principles quite like mine, of course, adapted to her time and for herself.
Fill in the blanks
There are many parents who would love it that the school they send our little boy or girl to brings them up completely, be it studies, growing up or life lessons. We just want to give to the school the responsibility of doing all the bringing up for us. While academic knowledge is imparted them at school, the skills of living life are our responsibility. It is essential that we fill in the blanks, helping them develop friendships for instance or a sense of independence or helping them be self-sufficient are all part of good parenting. These are skills that no book teaches them, these are the brushstrokes that help complete the picture.
They make the rules and break them
Let your children feel that they own their life. A sense of responsibility will put them in control of their life. Often when you take the power of making the rule and therefore following it away from them, it feels like they are losing control of their life. I have seen, if they formulate their own rules at home 9 times out of ten they will keep them too.
Life is not all roller coaster
It is not all high ups and then deep lows. In fact show them there is a lot of in between time, where the high of doing something does not exist. Wake them up sometimes and take them to witness an early morning in a park It is about finding that much of life is lived as much in the quiet empty spaces. They may find it boring at first but later on come around to enjoy it. Tell them it is not about filling life up with things to do. Give them the balance to know and enjoy the quiet in their lives and you will give them a new horizon.
And ah yes teach them books, give them the gift of reading. I have not been able to give my daughter the pleasures and enjoyment that comes from that world, but to be frank I have not read a book at length myself for a long time now maybe Im too busy imparting the principles of good parenting.
Live the example, whatever you want to pass on to your children.